so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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