The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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