My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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