I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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