3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just google imaged poop.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
porn star boner night. come get it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
