32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
