i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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