I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
