I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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