your thong is hanging out like whoa
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
