I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
