I wanna passion pit in your ass
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
