That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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