just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
