you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
