it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
