Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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