You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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