If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize