Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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