between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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