Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Vodka?
Forever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
