yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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