my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You're like the curious george of whores
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
