i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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