Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
