No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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