Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
