ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
