You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
