So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
