Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
