I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize