Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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