You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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