I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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