I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
