Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My pussy is not your playground.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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