Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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