So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
