turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i out mim tonsoeep
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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