We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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