I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
