just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
