So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
