Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Randomize
