i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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