Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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