so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize