is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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