I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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