he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
