I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
This can only be settled by a dance off.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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