I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
