I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You left your phone here
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