i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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