I hate your face
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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