hell yes lets make some ravioli
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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