What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I want a musical about memes.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
