I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
they call him Oral-B. enough said
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize