when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize